We have a special place to go, it's Jacobs place, as we scattered Jacobs ashes there, and the park attendants planted a few willow trees for us. It's a lovely place, there's a pond that's always filled with ducks - pretty, tranquil but still buzzes with movement and life. Today it made me sad though, as our little trees have been removed. They have been up having a tidy, and obviously decided our trees were in the way - or getting taken over by brambles. We always knew if something happened to them it would be one of those things, as it's a public place, but still it made me a little sad and annoyed at myself, why didn't we take a cutting all the times we planned to. Idiots. Oh well, it is still a lovely place. I never wanted cut flowers, and the thought of a tiny coffin went through me - so to visit this place where you can find peace and tranquility - but also happiness and children having fun, is perfect.
Oh hum, the ups and downs of life eh. I was going to do a piece for uni on how we become emotionally attached to what would normally be insignificant objects, dependant on our mental and emotional state - my little willows are now popped in that mental box - puh it's not a box, it's growing into a large trunk!
Still, we have a pretty photo of how it used to be, which I will share
xxxx
22 comments:
Your little place of tranquility sounds really beautiful Leonie. You can visit places like that all year round and you will always find something nice to look at - spring flowers, summer butterflies, autumn leaves, winter snowflakes.
Like the sound of the metal 'trunk' - so much more like you than a little box!
Hugs Sue P (Wedding dress ATC)
sounds a very special place leonie
big hugs
lesley xx
Dear Leonie, I think of you so very often and wonder how you are, I'm so pleased you have a place to go and think of as somewhere special, although Jacob will always be with you no matter where you are. I felt for you so very much as my mum lost her first son, and because it was back in the 60's and he was only a month old he was not given a funeral and so she doesn't know where he is.[she was only 16]. She has tried searching but to no avail. I hope you don't think I'm insensitive telling you this, but I'm so so pleased you have a special place to go and you have such a wonderful way of describing what you feel about it. Although obviously I dont know you, watching you on tv and reading your blogs you strike me as a fantastic, giving, bubbly lady who enjoys life and is loved by lots of people. Thinking of you and wishing you lots of happiness. Sharon
they can't take our memories away:)
big hugs T x
lots of love to you Leonie xx
Sounds a lovely place to go Leonie to savour your wonderful memories. My love and hugs to you both Cynthia x
sending you a hug from someone who knows what you're feeling -- been there done that too hun x
OH bless you xxxx
and Sharon take heart from the fact that we have a baby born in the 60s who was popped in with my sister who died in the 30s it was something they did in those days so he is safe with us we found this out when I tried to put my parents with her so we always take flowers for him too. x Sandy
oh yes Leonie I forgot to say that my Grandaughter is called Willow and she send a hug too X
sandy
Oh Leonie , i think of you often and about when i first heard about Jacob.
It is very hard and i am always with you in thought about this subject in particular as i myself lost a baby when i was nearly 6 months pregnant.
I was very young and now at 46 i wish i could go back and do things so very differentley but thats life sadly and we cant undo certain things , we just have to try and accept them.
I named my beautiful boy Daniel Blaine , my boyfriend at the time was half irish and Blaine in irish means - yellow - at the time we buried him next to the old oak tree at a lovely cemetary in Liverpool there were loads of daffodils around the tree so we thought it fitting to call him something irish and meanignful.
I go there when i can and put daffodils down in the spring and say hello......so i know exactly what you mean about your jacobs place being special.
My thoughts are with you......
Love
Tracey x x x
They may have taken away your "Willows" Leoni but they will never take away Jacob, plant some daffodils, they will bloom big and strong every year. Here are some words by Doris Stokes which were sent to me;
In a fairy castle just beyond my eye,
my baby plays with angel toys that money cannot buy.
Who am i to wish him back ,
into this world of strife?
No, play on my baby
you have eternal life.
At night when all is silent
and sleep forsake my eyes.
I,ll hear his tiny footsteps
come running to my side .
His little hands caress me
so tenderly and sweet.
I,ll breathe a prayer close my eyes ,
embrace him in my sleep.
Now I have a treasure that I rate above all others ,
I have known his glory, I AM STILL HIS MOTHER.xx
Leonie.
He will always be by your side, no matter where you are in this world. No words can express what I want to say, but one day you will be together again.
My family have had our fair share of loosing babies, so I know where you are at. Please hold those precious memories dear to your heart.
With love to you & Nicky. God bless you both, stay safe. xxxx
What a special place xxx
Bless you hun x
Bless your heart Leonie x
Dear Leonie
My heart always goes out to you when you talk about baby Jacob and like Tracey I rememeber when I heard about Jacob as I was pregnant at the time. A mother's love is strong and your memories will always be yours. What a beautiful place you have to visit.
xx
its good that you have a special place to go..sending love to you both
Sounds like a very precious place Leonie.
Looking forward to the photo's you are going to share.
You are such an inspiration.
Sandra x
Love and Hugs Leonie
Chrissie xx
Thank you everyone for your lovely comments. I will plant some daffs that's a great idea. We actually took sunflower seeds when we had his ceremony, and I asked people to scatter and plant them, rather than taking cut flowers - but we had an audience of greedy birds watching just where those juicy seeds were going, and needless to say nothing got past them!! I think a bulb is the answer.
Jacob is in our heart always xxxx
Hi Leonie...
Sounds a `beautiful`place.....
Jacob will always have a special place in your heart....
`Keep Smiling`
lotsa love to you & Nickxxx
Leonie,
I too have lost a special boy and as a family we have a special place as my husband was amazingly thoughful at the time of our loss. I hope that you have some comfort when you visit the area.
Possible idea for you:-
Take some pictures of the area and have a picture of it in your home. Possibly a video or short clip on your mobile phone for times when you cannot visit easily.
Six years on here and he is still part of our family. I work with my local Sands group and I find that to be therapuetic.
Thinking of you.
Take care.
Hugs
Debbie
As much as willow is cut back a little bit often grows back. So glad you have somewhere to go. I love your new blog. Hugs
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